there is no better time than soon after the release of the To All the Boys I've Loved Before movie to remember that movies can be be better than the books they adapt. my review of this whole series is now up at https://emmareadstoomuch.wordpress.co...!!! plz don't revoke my bookworm card. Guys, it turns out I have more than one form of righteous anger. I thought I only got instantaneously filled with rage when books are offensive or bigoted or what have you, but it turns out that’s incorrect! I also get really f*cking mad when my ship doesn’t sail. Okay, no, that’s not true. I’m a little more mature than that. (I’m no Lara Jean! Buh dum ch. Get it? Because the main character of this book is in a state of arrested development that rivals all four seasons plus the one currently being filmed of the show Arrested Development?) (It’s three a.m. and if I am forming coherent English sentences somehow, I’m entirely unaware of it.) A n y w a y. Let’s talk synopsis before we talk about my various stages of emotional paralysis, shall we? This is the sequel to runaway YA hit To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, a book I also reread and ranted about. Spoilers for the last book: Lil Lara Jean, our insanely-named protagonist, got herself into a little kerfuffle involving a series of letters addressed-n-stamped to old crushes, a fake relationship plot, a love triangle with her sister, and a certain lacrosse-playing douchenozzle the likes of which haunts public high school halls from here to Timbuktu. So here we are. Book two. How could we possibly make that nonstop thrill ride even more exciting??? The answer may surprise you!!!!
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The answer is: Make it so much worse.
Peter was boring in the last book. He was unremarkable. He was immature. But he had swishy hair and good eyebrows and a loud personality we can mistake for charm if we close one eye and try hard so can’t we all just look past it omg??? He’s just misunderstood?? I heard that he’s actually going through a lot. This one time he asked to borrow my pen because we had a French quiz and he didn’t have one and I swear, like...oh my god I know it sounds stupid but when he looked at me he really SAW me, you know?
He is the floppy-haired popular boy we all tried to forcibly make deep in high school.
That is probably the fundamental difference between 2015-first-time-reading-this-me and 2018-bitter-tired-reading-again me. I am not in high school anymore. SO PROJECTING MYSELF ONTO THE FEMALE CHARACTER GETTING YOU’RE NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS’D BY A COOL JOCK ISN’T ENOUGH TO MAKE A BOOK GOOD.
All of that screaming was just about how bad it was last time. It’s even worse in this one, remember? Because Peter (that’s Jock with Nice Hair #1, in case I didn’t mention that) is actually a TOTAL D*CK on top of it!
He throws tantrums when Lara Jean can’t come to one of his dumb jockfests (I believe you may call it a “sporting event”) or doesn’t bake him cookies (this is a CHILD) or isn’t into PDA. He doesn’t care about things she cares about (her penpal, her job at the retirement community - he doesn’t even REMEMBER her cool elderly bestie!! And the woman’s name is Stormy!!! Pretty memorable if you ask me!).
He also spends most of this book gallivanting about with his ex-girlfriend. The same ex-girlfriend who posted a video of Lara Jean and Peter getting hot and heavy on the Internet, which became a meme that almost ruined Lara Jean’s life. Cool!
That’s also a plotline I hate generally, the dangers-of-the-Internet type deal. So I was almost happy when this one faded into oblivion without any real conclusion. Even though that’s just BAD WRITING.
Let’s talk about the good things so then we can talk about more bad things.
There are two characters in this book who I actually, full-on love. The first one’s name is Kitty, and she is the ruler of my entire existence. Kitty is Lara Jean’s ten-year-old sister, who had more spunk and charm and humor (read: personality) in her little finger than every single other character in this rollercoaster through hell put together.
Excluding one. And that one’s name is John Ambrose McClaren.
He is a side of a love triangle. And Jenny Han, if you wanted to grant me the hellishness of actually rooting for a side in a love triangle, rather than just grinning and bearing my way through it, on top of the other emotional turmoil you caused me through this book:
John Ambrose McClaren is no Kitty. He’s not a great character on his own. In fact, he has about as much flavor and excitement as what is known as a “saltine cracker.” But I like saltine crackers. (I do not like this simile.)
What John Ambrose McClaren is: not Peter. He is nice. He is kind to Lara Jean. He cares about what she cares about!!! What a shock!!!! Who can even believe it!!!! They even share having really annoyingly long cutesy unrealistic names in common so I can hate talking about them both equally just due to how long they take to type!!! I type weirdly!!! It hurts my wrists!!!!
But he doesn’t end up with Lara Jean because nothing matters and everything is bad and even when I think I see a glimmer of light in the reread from Satan himself that glimmer is instantly put out with the darkness of a thousand desert nights (are desert nights especially dark?).
So Lara Jean just ends up with the fan fave from the last book after 20 pages of pretending there’s another option. You know. Breakin’ hearts for ~narrative spice~.
NOT FOR ME.
Bullet points of other good stuff:
- i’m still partial to the Song sisters at large
- Lara Jean bakes a lot and I like baking and also food descriptions
- there were moments when I almost got into this...and then was immediately brought back out
- diversity!!!
Bullet points of the neverending amounts of bad stuff:
- Lara Jean calls her parents “Mommy” and “Daddy” (call me picky and weird, but...bleh)
- insta-friendships!!! I hate it!!
- this book is so sweet you might as well just pour powdered sugar on your teeth. Then you can have a physical cavity to match the mental one you’re about to get
- should be a quick read but is actually grating and therefore not
- Peter and Lara Jean are both so emotionally stunted it’s insane
- I would honestly much rather read about Margot, the eldest Song sister, romping about in Scotland if not for the fact that Kitty wouldn’t be there
- I could’ve lived without the whole retirement community plotline
- and the online-almost-sex-video cyberbullying plotline
- and the Peter versus John plotline
- ...I guess I could’ve lived without this book altogether
In conclusion:
And yes I will be forcing myself through the next one of course.
Bottom line: Hopefully this book is so clearly annoying that even my incoherent 3 a.m. (now 4 a.m.) ramblings can convince you of that fact.
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PRE-REVIEW
when you realize the only good parts of a book you loved 2 years ago are the ten year old little sister and the side of the love triangle that doesn't sail >>>>>
READ MY ORIGINAL FIVE STAR REVIEW BELOW BECAUSE NOTHING MATTERS AND LIFE IS AN ENDLESS CYCLE OF CONSTANT SUFFERING
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ORIGINAL REVIEW
ONCE AGAIN, AS I DID WITH TO ALL THE BOYS IVE LOVED BEFORE, I READ THIS IN A FEW HOURS INTO THE EARLY MORNING.
even if i went to bed right now i'd get less than 6 hours of sleep.
BUT I REGRET NOTHING!
this book was so good, and even though i kind of ended up liking john ambrose mcclaren more than peter. peter wasn't nice in this book! john was so, so nice and peter was manipulative and just a crappy boyfriend. i didn't feel like he deserved lara jean, WHO (whom?) I ADORE.
I LOVE THE SONG SISTERS. i wish me and my two sisters were like them. maybe we will be when i go off to college.
my heart is aching for the end of these characters! i'll miss them so! JENNY HAN, you love contemporary trilogies—please make this one!
